Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Vice is the Spice of Life, Sometimes

Vice is the spice of life.

While this is not actually or even relatively true, it does seem that way very often.  As I have grown older, the medical professionals have told me to give up more and more.  Sure I had to give up drinking and illegal drugs, they were definitely killing me.  Well more precisely I was killing myself with them, and only very lucky I had not killed some others along the way.  That left me with cigarettes, and coffee.  Now that I am giving up cigarettes, (tobacco) all I will have is excessive coffee drinking, and I get the feeling it will not be long before the medical professionals will be telling me that I need to cut back on the coffee, if not cut it out all together and what will remain of my vices then.

I could maybe consider swearing and some other minor immoral things as vices, but I really can not see myself as a christian monk, so yea, that really is not much to go on.  It seems to me that as I get older, I do not actually die, my mind still reels with ideas and things of imagination, but my body just gives up, or at least that is what the doctors are trying to convince me of.

Last week I went in for an operation, and they removed a tumor from my neck, and found a legion on my lung, whatever that means.  Are they setting me up for cancer, have they marked me for death, they said I was dangerously close to that as the tumor was very large and close to causing a stroke.  I do not see or feel a marked improvement in my health yet, maybe later, but for now, it does not seem better.  In fact with the restrictions they have placed on me until I heal, it is really more like they have taken away most of my ability to work or even to live.  Especially now that they want me to quit everything.

Don't get me wrong, smoking cigarettes for a long time has bothered me, and I have thought, yea, I should definitely quit or at least cut way down, but that does not happen easily, and it is not a one day event for me.  So this will be a battle, I hope to win, but at the same time, because I really have no other vices left, it does seem like there is nothing left for me to hold on to.  Maybe I can start over eating, but I do not think that will work for me, and it would kill me just as quick apparently, so why bother.

I mean really, what is life without at least one vice?

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