Saturday, December 19, 2015

Writer Not Chatter

I am a writer, not a chatterer, so when it comes to doing video, I just do not seem to know what to say.  Words flow like honey wine from my fingers, but I do not seem to have anything to say when I turn the camera on.

I can operate the camera fine, I have no issues with the operations of the camera, but  I guess seeing myself in the camera just freezes me up somehow.  I used to perform publically in poetry readings, but that was on a stage I guess, and I was always reading my poems, never actually reciting them, except a few times here and there.  I wonder that if I can not see myself it that would be better.  I do not know because I have never tried it.  When I get the tripod for the new camera, I guess I can try some video work, because I will not be able to see myself, maybe I will be able to do better.

I think I could play guitar on video, if only I actually knew how to play guitar.  So here I am writing, and thinking, yea, how do I make videos when I can not seem to make videos.  Well at least I can write about it.



Wednesday, December 09, 2015

Social Engineering Media

We certainly are social creatures, that is why social media, and social engineering work so well with us.  It really shows in our use of religion, but that is a subject for another day all together.


Monday, December 07, 2015

What Truth is Being

What knowledge have I of certain things, that come in passes, visions and glances, not to be dismissed, but believe them will I, for what origin have they been given?

This solemn thought, and sober care, for is it not that I have given air, but to the views that come from it, as thought is truth, and manifest, if only for the briefest of moments.

And I am but the channel through which symbols form upon the stage, arranged in such arrangements as they take, for now am I but the thought, and vision of another, for corporeal I do not know myself to be, but for the notice given me.

Only this, is what I see, when presented with the evidence of the human being.

Time and Time Again, Remember

There is something so rare and beautiful about a relationship that you do not realize often without the means for discovery.  Most people will never know a meaningful relationship, they will only realize the loss of one.  This is condition of beauty, of love, of truth, it only bears fruit we know not that we eat until it is gone.  This is the condition of humans, they only recognize the loss, or at least most of them.

We have poets and painters, and yet we know not of other than suffering, for it is only through this that we feel the essence of our creation.  After all the suffering and pain has subsided, all that remains is beauty and love, but we humans know this in loss, most often.

How strange these mortals be, 

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Computer Specialist Meets Medical Specialist

I have always been curious how the medical profession works.  Let me give you an example that illustrates my issue.

I was a computer technician for 20+ years, and in that twenty some odd years I have done work for doctors and other medical professionals, plus for hospitals et al.  Here's my thoughts on how that work applies.

Let us say that a doctor calls me because his computer is not working.  Now right off the bat he wants me to somehow fix it over the phone, and of course I can not do that, because the doctor knows nothing really about computers, so I can not even walk him through it, and besides he doesn't want that, he just want's his computer fixed.  That is the patient then, and it is very much the same.

So I set an appointment.  Now the doctor is certain he is the most important client I have, so there is no reason I can not come right out there immediately to fix his computer, lives are at stake here if he can not look up things on WebMD.  Unfortunately I can not just drop everything and run out there, so he has to accept my appointment for Tuesday at 9:30.

So when Tuesday arrives, I show up at 9:30, but I sit in my truck for the next half hour talking on the phone.  Now he doesn't know who I am talking to, but he is certainly going to find out, because he is a busy man, and I will not keep him waiting while I discuss other clients issues.  So he comes out to my truck, and knocks on the window.

"I will be with you in just a few minutes, if you could just wait inside that would be swell"  I tell him, and he goes away looking like I just scolded him.  Still there are a few other calls, and there is paperwork to fill out, and I have to sign into the network operations center (noc) before I can even go onto the site.

So I get that done and it is almost 10:00, and by this time I am sure the doctor is furious.  So I go to the office, and I tell him he has to fill out this paperwork for me to begin work on his computer.  After he has done that I say I am sorry for all the delay, there is just such a backload of people who need help, and the paperwork is terrible, or something to that effect.

Now I say, "What is wrong with the computer?"

He says, "I have no idea, that is why I called you, it is not working."

"Okay, does it start, or not start, does it make any tones when you try to turn it on, did you try to access the safe mode?" I ask.

"No, I do not know how to do that, that is why I called you, do you know what is wrong with it?"  he ask getting frustrated with my line of questioning.

"Okay let me start from the beginning then, let's see if it is plugged in."  I say.

"Of course it is plugged in, don't you think I would know if it was plugged in."  he says now expressing his frustration.

"Of course you would, but this way I can be sure I checked it myself, just going down the check list of obvious things, that are sometimes overlooked, simply procedure that is all."  I tell him to reassure him that this is how "us" computer guys work.

After some time fiddling about with the obvious stuff, I get around to trying to turn it on, and well it does turn on, it gets to start up and goes blue screen.  "Hmm," I say.  Now a good 1/2 hour has gone by and we still do not know what is wrong with his computer.

"What do you think is wrong with it?" he ask.

"Well I have a couple of ideas, but I not certain, could be a couple of different things."  I say.

"Can you fix it?" he ask.

"Sure, should not be a problem."  I say.

"Oh good how much longer then?" he ask.

"Don't know really, tell you what, it looks like a software issue, so what I am going to do is schedule an appointment with a software analyst to look at it, and he will get back to me and I will set an appointment then to come back out and see if we can get to the root of the problem."  I say.

And this is where all the color rises up into his face and he gets ready to fly off the handle.  Think about it though, is this not what they do in their profession.  Now sure the human machine is a complex machine, and they have insurance issues to deal with, but so don't I.  I have to make sure nothing gets broken, or no one gets hurt, and that I do not make an error, or I could end up with an errors and omissions claim against me.  So sure you can just buy a new computer and this is not exactly a great example, but it does point to some serious issues within the medical industry.  That and it is just sometimes what I would love to do to a doctor, if I had to fix their computer again.

It is funny, but it is not.  There are some fundamental issues within the medical industry, and until these are fixed, it is only going to get worse.


Monday, October 12, 2015

Carbon Fibers

Years I have spent searching outside myself, for good or evil.  Who was driving this pen forward, what muse was manifesting the words inside my head?  Now I see the proximity of my death, I realize there is nothing, only living and not, and everything else is just memory imprinted upon the folds of our brains.  The rational mind is useless, it only does as it is told.  The creative mind is uncontrollable, it invents fantasies for we have not even words yet.  This interplay between mind, thought, reality matter, and energy, all lays out a pattern of behaviors for which we are unaware, for good reasons.  If we were fully aware, we would all be insane, by the definition that the people hold, for nothing would be beyond our grasp.  Your “grip” on reality is all that you have, lose that and the truth is nothing has form, it is all energy and the perception of matter.

The sheep do not care for this philosophical bullshit, all they want is food and water, and the chance to do as they please.

As time has gone on, I have trained myself to see everything as flat.  Singular items of form and formula.  The sheep are not creatures devoid of form, yet they are not.  They are frequency, energy that manifest as sheep for the memory is indelible, it takes that shape in our minds.  The sheep are energy, the form is the illusion we perceive,.  Every particle, every ion of light we see reflected from the collection of matter that gives shape to the sheep is part of that illusion.  If I can shift my focus, disconnect my functional brain, the illusion is broken, and the energy is as it is, the bond between molecules of matter, carbon held to shape by energy.

Let me show you something, it is simple, so I can form each letter of a word, they have no meaning but what we have learned they should mean.  We give them meaning, and so is the significance of everything.  Yes we gave the sheep form, by calling them sheep.  Sheep do not label themselves,as sheep, nor do they call the the wolf a wolf, the wolf has no such shape to a sheep.  We learned shape, form, matter and to fear energy, for it is endless, inescapable, fluid and formless.  We thrive on this chaos, this illusion, for it protects us from the truth.  Those that know this thrive on us as well.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Science, Politics, and Religion, Brothers in Arms

Science is the new religion, for what is science but the obfustication of the natural world around us through complication.  Do not be deceived by the seeming openness of science, it is as monitored and coopted as religion, and just as controlled by the same families.

To maintain their hold on the populace, they will stop at nothing to persuade all that what you see is what you are, but the truth is rarely so mystical.  There is no mystery here, only existence, and that is fleeting and fragile at best.


I fell asleep last night thinking; what if we could reach a point that we create a black hole, or some other devastating creation, that in the blink of an eye did not only destroy our own existence, but that of the entire universe.  Wouldn't that be wonderful, the crowning achievement of the species of earthlings, that had the most potential for creation, destroyed all of the universe, including quite likely any other life that may in it be contained.  It would be the evidence of our self destructive nature, but it would also wipe away all evidence of our existence, and therefore we would never know.  Would that not be the funniest joke, that we would not know the punchline to the final joke, for we would cease to exist in the same instant as the creation of the new universe we so desperately wish to create, as it would be created out of the destruction of our current one.

I am reminded of that old sage advice, be content with your self as you are, for that is all there is, and that is the key to happiness, and all that.  Yet we are always trying to find that thing that created us, and when we find it, it will destroy us.  That is irony at its best.  I will most likely never live to even know that we are close, but it certainly does seem like we are getting closer.  If we tear a rift in time, if we bend space and travel to a distant galaxy that would be cool.  If we destroy all of the universe, that would be the ultimate achievement, for in that moment we would be the creators.  How awesome is that?

Two Princes

Something still bugs me about the videos I have recently watched.  They interpret religion to be a hidden astrology.  This for the most part I do not disagree with.  It is easy enough to believe this as any other rationale for religion, which is oppressive in any form whatsoever.  Still astrology does not answer one question, how is it that we have come to this point, and have changed so little.  I am left empty from the answers that are from the empty space that continues to fill with useless chatter.  Each one trying to gain purchase on the other, science has no answer, nor does blind faith in any mythology, nor does insight, except that which one can divine for oneself in brief moments of clarity.

It tumbles in my head, these ideas, these presentations, each one an agenda by the orator, to climb above the chatter, when the answer should be as simple as the natural order.  The human being has placed themselves just outside that order, to touch chaos, to know the creative force, and it has left its scars upon us.

There are two states of being, two states of matter, two states of energy, and all of them are within the states of order or chaos.  Order remains constant, never changing, chaos is flux, always creating, or destroying, however you look at it.  The cycle exist because we are necrotic, born to die, and from that death provide, while living we are not solid matter, but between matter and energy, as they fight for dominance, we lose, for matter will return to energy and energy will settle to matter, and we are helpless to organize that cycle of nature.  We may well attempt to put order to chaos, but that is as ridiculous as any blind faith, and will only lead to obfustication.

I am an observer of nature, examining it for it nature, and realizing I am not as significant as I was once made to believe.  Nature has no need of us, we are not the stewards of the natural world, we are an accident of recombinations of molecular energy and matter, and yet nothing has shown that would indicate we are less than we are.  No new evolutionary gains have been made, for chaos must have lost its hold, and to gain it will destroy that which we are.  We are young, too young to know the truth of existence, for it is older than us, much older, and has come and gone, time and again, and our time is short, even now, as it winds down, what comes after will not be known to us, for we will no longer know order but only the silence of empty abyss.  We will not know our usurpers for they will not know us, if at all they even find evidence, for they will have to look for it, and they may not, for they could as easily be giants that have no mythology, care not for the mystery, and only exist for the sole purpose of reproduction.

If tomorrow you do not wake up, if it all ceases to exist in a moment, what would it mean?  Have you ever wondered if there is no tomorrow, what does that mean for today?  How do we live like there is no tomorrow, when for all these years and millennium there always has been?  If we know the event of our demise, if we know the horizon of our end is near, we can prepare in some way, live a life of careless abandon, for tomorrow will not arrive as scheduled.  If we do not know, we are left with plans undone, adventures not ventured, roads not taken, but we are unaware, and when there is no tomorrow, we will not know the end is today.  What will remain?

While I can not say for certain, I can say that matter and energy will continue to war against each other, as order and chaos are the results of that play, and we are helpless to organize nature, though we strive to find our place, it is a state of being, somewhere between matter and energy, and it will forever be that way.  It gives me a peace I can not explain to realize that we are but children all our days, and that even if we exist another two or three millennium, at some point we will cease, and the natural order will continue, without us, for it needs us not, and chaos will create a new thing from the destruction that awaits us, or is brought upon us by even our own selves.

Child Man

I sometimes wonder, but no then I stumble, and fall, and wonder no more, for there is nothing to wonder about.   It seems that I have not forgotten that inebriation, that giddy child, when I know he is dead, left for dead, for there are bills to pay, accounts to balance, and oracles to consult.  Herein lies the query, the jest, as we age, there is no better teacher than our own mirrors, as they grow, and we must confront ourselves again, or watch a life again be snuffed out.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Far Far Away from Here

On climate change.  To deny the potential of climate change is ridiculous.  To say that humans are having an effect on climate change is obvious, as we can not walk across sand without leaving footprints, and we have been heavy walkers most of our existence, so it is not surprising.  However I do not believe we have as much effect as we might imagine.  The increase in carbon dioxide may be as likely a result of breathing as of industrialized development.  PSI of people in general is high compared to previous times, so it goes without saying that we are obviously having an effect on the overall environment of the globe in general.  The long term effects of our existence is negligible as we have only been here such a short amount of time.  The decrease in oxygen in the atmosphere may have a more devastating effect on humans than on the entire environment.  Still we are likely to adapt to some degree, although how is yet to be seen.

Still the fact that the climate is changing is a no brainer, of course it is changing, as is the plate tectonics, and other geological features.  Seismic activity may increase, or decrease, and it is also likely that our core is still cooling, so that will have a serious effect on the long term environment.  Much more so than human or other biological effects.  A cooling core means two major things.  First that the geothermal heat will decrease, increasing the surface cooling as well.  The second and even more significant, is the increase in density of the core as it cools, it condenses upon itself increasing the core density, and therefore increasing the effective gravity of the planet.  I do not know if biology can cope with an increase in gravity, but I am sure it will be known, just not by me.

That the humans will become extinct anytime soon is also a possibility, but not likely, as we are highly adaptable creatures, that with the slow progression that the earth takes to make generalized changes in environment, we may be able to keep up with it.  We may not either, as certain times the changes the earth makes are very fast, over a period of a few months, and that would be the end of life as we know it.  Not life entirely, but with a total cool down, or seismic increase that resulted in any cool down of the general earth's radiant heat, we would not likely survive.  We are not designed to survive on darkness and sulfur atmosphere, so if that happens, the likely extinction is at hand.

Nature does not plan, it responds to stimuli.  We think we can do otherwise, but on a global scale we are no different.  That we have invented a being who could plan our existence for us, is obvious, and that we have to try to believe it is proof enough that it is a desperate act by a bunch of desperate old pediphilic greedy men.  Nature responds, we try to plan, but the best laid plans of mice and men will easily be thwarted by the simplest of natural responses.

Is there an atmospheric environmental global warming event on the horizon.  Yes I believe so, all indications point to this.  Does it mean it will happen, no it does not.  A simple thing like a meteor getting through our moons protective shielding, or major increase in seismic activity combined with plate movements of unusual levels of activity could turn a global warming trend on its head in a hurry, and before you know it the earth is covered in a 30 foot coating of snow and ice.  Not just part of the earth, but the entire earth, it can happen, it has, and it can again, and if it does, nothing but a few bacteria and maybe a few spores survive.  End of the world as we know it, but beginning of a new world, much like it has done before.

The truth is our planet is about middle aged, as our sun has about half as much energy left as it had when it started.  In approximately 4 billion years,, give or take an era or two, our sun will die, in a spectacular party the likes of which no one has ever seen or will see, as it will happen so fast that by the time the light reaches us, it will have already happened, and we will no longer exist.  The implosion will leave earth a barren wasteland, if that at all, if the energy does not just explode the earth into billions of particles, and then the energy coming from the sun will be no more, and our solar system will go dark.  Nothing will survive, although it is possible that spores of bacteria may be blown out into further space to populate other earth class planets some millions of light years away, but that is speculation on the grand scale.  We will not know it, unless we devise a way to leave this solar system on a journey to some distant planet, far far away.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Back Online after Electrical Storm

I'm back online, and I have a bunch of stuff to publish, now all I have to do is get it from the written page to the web.  Will be posting lots of stuff this week, so hope you are ready for this.


A pedal-powered lathe in SketchUp | SketchUp Blog

This is a good article about a worthwhile project.  I have my reservations about the use of the lathe, but I will address that in another post at another time.  Plans for this lathe are available online.

A pedal-powered lathe in SketchUp | SketchUp Blog:

'via Blog this'

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Dogs Do What Comes Natural Naturally

How long before you slip into the comma that is comfortable and sirene?  How much must you see of what is before you, before you start to disbelieve.  Is there something I can get you that will pacify your fears?  Would you feel so much better now, if the time were past, and you were no longer uncertain of what was coming.

You know you are passive, reacting to your environment.  That there are those that know this as well, and have used that to their advantage.  Oh, yes, I say monsters do exist, they are inside everyone of you, and with just the right conditions, even the most passive aggressive will find it in themselves to destroy the illusion, they worked so hard to build.

Ah, but yet I realize your fears will keep you sane.  This is what you do to prevent yourself from getting burned.  When that fails you take the heat to heart, and hope you survive another day.  It is only a matter of time after all before we all pass away.  To know this insignificance is far too close to the truth for most to let it lay.

Another ride on the carousel, just another habit you do not want to break.  It will be okay, you tell yourself, for if you do not, the days will wind down too quickly, and you will not remember the times you were righteous.  You will certainly take credit though for those times you were certain you were right in hindsight.

Unfinished thanks to dogs...

Friday, August 28, 2015

Super Funky Junk Drawer

So hey now what is going on out there in the real world. I have been so long here behind this screen, that I am not sure what is happening and what is just internet cream. I live in this virtual world now, with flashes of the real, when I go out to the store once in a while, but most times I see nothing but the same old rhythm and blues.

I remember years ago, when I was not so cold, I used to shout about the boot stomping hypocrites and politicos. I incited the kids of the day to go out into the streets and take back their neighborhoods. This was a reaction to a bunch of shootings that occurred on S. Colvin Street back when I was just a babe of 24 years of age. I was writing full time, and had a small music production business (we did not find much worth producing then, bad timing), so I was deeply involved in the arts of the area, and in reading poetry whenever I could get away with it. Those were the days my friends, I thought they would end in my demise, but it turns out I am still alive, well living, sometimes I wonder how alive I really am.

The Sheep Afield
I see the sea of crap that surfaces on the web, I do not even bother with the local news, it is all too much fluff and circumstance, and wonder is it really that bad out there in the real world. Where I live now I am insulated from most of the crap, it is a small community, with very little going on. So I listen to the fear and loathing from the pundits of the blogosphere and wonder is it really as bad as they say. My twitter is full of doom and gloom, yet tech companies continue to innovate, why if the society were just about to implode would they even bother with such investment, if they did not have hope.

Maybe the old guard of the military industrial complex are desperately trying to hang on to the world of wars and psychopaths, I do not know it might not end well, if old men still run around in their underwear swearing they are the rulers of the world. I do not know the outcome of this, I just know that whatever is happening, I am I guess blissfully unaware. Maybe I have fallen too far into cynicism to even care. Whatever the case may be, I think it is time I took a step outside these walls, and from behind this screen, and went a little further than the barn, so maybe I can see what is really out there. Ah, but I really think it would be more of the same old shoot’em up and same old song and dance.


Tuesday, August 25, 2015

On Man's Belief, one of many

This is a comment on a blog I read recently, Daily Grail, which dealt with the "Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn", an old order magical cult which gathered much of the early mystic text into a single order.  It is a piece to the entire puzzle that is religion, magic, cultism, and man.  The reason I began this post with this comment is because it demonstrates the point many people make, that there is a group or groups of people who are controlling the world, or at least society anyways.

Or the major string pullers and troublemakers would like the general population to think the "elites" have occult powers and that "it is futile to resist." They nurse several such psyops in civil media - another one is that they can inject thoughts into our brains with cell phone towers. As an orgoniteer I know full well the neurological damage being done inadvertently with such electropollution, but I seriously doubt they have to the capability to "control our minds" above and beyond just being able to increase anxiety though such means. However, the psyop is that they can "control our minds" - yet another variation of "it is futile to resist."
The big brother NSA meme is another - publicly busting the NSA's universal surveillance scheme was positively something that had to be known by everyone for its real intention to take effect - "it is futile to resist." Had Snowden not come along they would have found another Snowden. The real value is not intelligence gathering - it is reducing the populace to a state of fear and futility.
I have found in my study of such things, that in the past there was the desire to know such things.  That there is the potential for someone to rule this world, is rather ambitious to say the least.  Still I know of such things, and wonder is there something to this theory, or is it just as vaporish as the basis on which it is based.  I can not find the ancient text that establishes the first echoes of religion, or denies its existence.

I can not travel to far away lands to discover new old wonders.  I am given only second hand words, and they may be just as fallible as that which is present to the least observant.  As I continue from a much earlier time, when the damage was still fresh, I wonder at the wonder of humans, when the truth is easily at hand.  There seems to me no need for gods, as it might have once been  Though I suspect that gods were made not to explain as is the common knowledge, but to instill fear, so that fearful people will remain.  For fear is the motivation of the men who preach of gods and fairies.

That magic exist, is perhaps too simple, for it is evident in the nature of all things.  Perhaps not the mystery that one desires, where desires exist and provide the fuel for creation, but in the ordinary and mundane, for it is there that wonder is discovered.  As one wise man once said, "chop wood, carry water, mystical action, magical power".  From this can be derived the full extent of all that is needed for true magic to happen.  All one needs is work, for the work is all that one needs, for the action is the power, and the accomplishment thereof the satisfaction of the mystery

Friday, August 21, 2015

Pictures Please

I think I am going to post some pictures later with my post, so I can share with everyone including those that follow me on pinterest, as well as just to work on my picture editing skills.

In Spite of Human Being

In the world there is magic.  Not the type that you would think of, that type where you perform some spell and you get something in return.  I do not discount that type of magic, for it is around us, be it positive thought, prayer, wishing, or any of those types of things, you put enough effort towards something, and willing to make the necessary sacrifices and it is likely you will get what you want.  What I am referring to is the type of magic that is, and all you have to do is notice it.

You could call it wonder, you could call it many things, but it is all around us, and we have to but take notice for it to unfold before your very eyes.  We tend to look at things from the perspective of how we can use the world around us.  What value has the land, the trees, the fruits and the nuts, for our own purposes, without realizing that they are not for us, but for the purposes of reproduction of the species.  This escapes us, for we are far too focused on purpose for our own personal gains.  Even when we help someone else, it is usually so we can feel better about ourselves.

This world is not separate from us, it is as much for us humans as it is for the birds and the squirrels.  Yet we continue to see things as we are the makers, when we are the made, and until that changes, we should take the time to see that we are but one of many millions of things that exist not for us, but in spite of us humans in this world.

Hey, I mean we have conquered much of this world, haven’t we.  We domesticated wild dogs, and sheep, and goats, and cats (maybe) and tamed the wild oats so we could have breakfast cereals, and all manor of things that seem to be by our own hands.  By what definition do we consider domestication, I can tell you that it is a very tenuous current we ride, in a matter of minutes past our time, all that we have done will be wiped away and buried beneath the shifting sands of time.

Ah but man’s importance is paramount, it takes precedence over all the natural world.  If that were true, there would be no use for the millions of other creatures, what are those, mere entertainments for our idle minds.  There is a true issue with the patriarchal society that sees things as man vs nature, for there is no competition in nature, it is only exist or not, and what is and what is not, is not of consequence, even man himself.

So if you are feeling down and out, feeling insecure… just hope there is intelligent life somewhere out in space, because there is nothing like that here.

Granted that is not the line exactly from Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life” but it is an accurate paraphrase of it, a little more fitting of the world in which we live.

I know some people will talk of intelligent design, like they can elevate the god myth to modern times.  While I will agree there are holes in evolution’s theory, it fits a bit better than the belief in bronze age gods.  I give a bit of credit to the power of faith, it has its place, and when amplified by hundreds it does seem to work much better.  Like when you raise a barn, if you are alone it is possible, but much easier and quicker when you have a hundred friends along for the ride.

Do not discount the human achievements, they are greater than they may be perceived.  We have somehow engineered our own demise, though it was not intentional, and certainly not what I would call intelligent design.  We have learned of thousands of way to kill each other, for whatever ill conceived rationale we can perceive.  We are not through yet with the wars and hate, so it is likely that we will at least succeed in creating our own extinction, and for that we are unique as far as I can tell in nature.

Each and everything that exist has purpose, though for the life of me I can not see what purpose human’s have in the grand scheme of things.  Why should we have evolved to this degree, only to succeed in the destruction of the self, be it through our emotional distresses, or our need to end each others lives.

Our desires for the others, to have what we do not, is likely the worst disease we have yet to find a vaccine for, and it is likely we will not.  For we do not see this greed as something that is part of our genes, and I have to agree that it is likely it is not.  Still it is learned from the earliest of ages that we must strive to overcome our plight, and be something we are not.  All the while we are living an illusion, a lie we tell ourselves, that we are more important that we really are.

Be it our internal drive to survive, or is it just a tale we are told that allows us to hold ourselves in the highest place, because the fear would consume us if we did not.  We are balanced on the edge of fear, for if we were not so brave and bold as we are, we would not have gotten this far I am afraid.  It is this bravado that has made us, and it will be the same that will be our un-making one day.

Until then, remember this, we are human after all, we live and die, and bleed and cry, and in the end, we are nothing more than the food for generations of myths that have yet to be created.

Two Worlds Apart

I am caught between two worlds, one is the future world of technology, and all the wonder it creates, and the second is the natural world and the wonder that it is.  I know that these two worlds are not exclusive of each other, but they are not inclusive of each other either.

While I marvel at the simple beauty of the natural world, and wonder where the magic is, I can not help myself thinking that it is the old world, and the new world is not a natural world.  The new world is a world of things, man made things, and to some degree this includes food.  Why is it so wrong to think that we can create our own food from elements and not have any connection to the source material.  What is the truth behind genetic engineering of nutritive materials.

There seems to be this transition between the new and old world right now, like we are on the edge of going over to a new age, an age of the future, where even our food is replicated, not made from the natural world, but from synthesized copies of the natural articles.  While on one hand this is not something I would want for myself, on the other hand, I am getting older and will all too soon be gone from this world, and my grandchildren will have to make that decision, so I wonder will it make any difference.

I hear the cries of the people of my generation, how the large corporations are poisoning us, destroying our world, but are they?  Are they really destroying our world, or remaking it, in a different form, maybe not better, maybe it is different, and we all know different is scary.

Human evolution is a slow progression, and yet we are near a point where we may be able to see the next version of the human species.  While the humans that are dependent on food and water still exist, perhaps the next version will thrive on something else, something created in a lab, that will sustain us without the need for the natural world.  There will be pain in this transformation, but who is to say it will not be better, certainly not I.

I cling to the old world, and marvel at the potential of the new world.  I wonder about the potential of the new world, a one world government, a single world order, where there is no political boundaries.  I think about this “Brave New World” and know that I am not part of it, I am a part of the old world, barely able to grasp the concepts of the new world, only to see it from the fringes.  The new children, the children of our grandchildren, they may know no other world, they may know the new world as it is, and our world will be as distant as the ancient world is to us.

They will marvel at our accomplishments, and wonder how it is that we ever were able to accomplish all that we did, with wars, and without the technological advances that to us seem distant, but to them will seem commonplace.

Maybe you can not imagine a new world, maybe it is too horrible for you to contemplate.  For me it is a wonder, as much as the natural world is today.  While it is easy to think about flying cars, and the stuff of your wildest dreams, what would seem difficult to imagine is the things that seem so common to human beings, things like food, water, air, and shelter.

Of course for this new world to fully exist, it must by definition destroy the old world,  There must be a period where there is no world, where we exist but as small population of beings that are different from our ancestors, unlike them, but sharing some common traits, just enough that we could recognize them, but not so much that we would know who they are.  We may be slowly coming to that point, to the place where even creating new humans is not done the “natural” way.  Where we do not choose our children, but that they are made, created in a place that specializes in the creation of humans.  I have thought about this, for many years, even when I was just a young boy I thought of such things.  Beyond the idea of creation, there is the idea of creation of ourselves in the image of ourselves, only different, maybe better, maybe not, it is too hard to know that right now.  All I know is that if we are on the verge of the “New World” there is not too much we can really do about it.  We can continue to cling to the bronze age mythological world, where we wonder how does the rain or wind or fire work, or we can move on from that to a new world where we wonder not of natural things, but of marvels of our own creation.

We are after all the gods we created, we are the makers of our myths, and so too we can be the makers of our realities, even if we do not recognize the results, maybe they will recognize in us the value of our works, and thereby know that we created them, or at least the foundation from which they are now standing.  Maybe they will see us as barbaric, savages, and such, sacrificing cattle for our base desires, while they are perfectly satisfied to exist on chemicals and nutrients created in the labs.  It is hard to predict what will be a thousand years from now, or even twenty, though we have a better idea of that than we do of true long term.  While our world is dying, maybe with help from our actions and decisions, what comes of it may be a better world, or maybe it will just be nothing, and maybe we will cease to exist at all, the next thing might not be human at all, but that remains to be seen.

Still I cling to this world as we know it, or more so, as it was once known.  I thrive on the farming life, simple, natural, and without the clutter of technology.  I know that I am not the new world, but I do not concern myself with that.  I love my world as it is, mostly, though it is true that I feel threatened by the coming of the new age sometimes, I also know it does not matter, it is coming, with or without me.  I know that the long winter between will not be pleasant for those that break on through to the other side.  It will be a long dark period of nothing, before we get through the harsh realities of leaving the old world and entering the new world, but when we do, I believe just as we have very little connection to the ancient world, they will have very little connection to us, except as stories that they will likely misinterpret as easily as we do the ancients today.  Though I am old world, I can see the value of either world, and the wonder of both, and I wonder, will I live long enough to glimpse the edge of the new world?  Unlikely, but even if I do not, maybe I can think about it, and know that someday, someone will maybe find that I thought about their world, and though I had nothing to do with it, at least I had the imagination and bravery to think, what will it be like, even if it does mean the end to my world.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Advice on Writing

The problem I have with advice, especially writing advice is that it usually is something that I think at the time makes a lot of sense, but when it comes to actually writing, generally I find that the "rules" by which I am supposed to be constrained to, do not work for me.  I get that often my writing could be better if it were a little more concise, or less wordy anyways.  Often though that is the tone of the character, and to trim them too much would disrupt their voice.  I only hope that what I write will be enjoyable to the readers, and sometimes I do not even care about that.

Funny how sometimes I write because I know that other people will read it, and sometimes I write only because I want to have this other voice.  I do not know if one mood is better than the other, but I do know that at the end of the day, it is really quite the same, for me anyways.

For me writing is like breathing, I do it because that is what I do, though it is not always done well, sometimes I am gasping for air, and it seems like I am writing for all the wrong reasons, and sometimes it seems like I am breathing the cleanest air there is, and it is all flowing like water through a old growth forest, pristine and clear.  Then there are the times when I do not even know I am breathing, and the words flow like someone else is moving my fingers, or the pen, whatever the method, sometimes it feels like I am not even here.  I like it best when I wake up from the dream, and what I have written seems new even to me.


Top 10 Fantasy Writing Tips From 'Game Of Thrones' Author George R.R. Martin | Lifehacker Australia

Top 10 Fantasy Writing Tips From 'Game Of Thrones' Author George R.R. Martin | Lifehacker Australia:

'via Blog this'

I have never read any of his books, but this is some of the best advice I have read in many years.  Most writers that give advice just talk about the need for character development, to show don't tell, and the other standards of fiction writing.  George R.R. Martin presents a very lively format of the same advice, that is provided with good examples, and just enough wit to make it readable, without sounding pretentious.

I may have to actually read some of his work, though it is unlikely I will ever watch the show.



Sunday, August 09, 2015

B&PSM: Eight, maybe, or was it Seven

Bits and Pieces of a Shattered Mind

This is a bit from a work I am working on, that hides very little, and is not meant to be accurate, but just what is left of my works that have been waiting all these years.  So do not take it personal, it is as the title states bits and pieces of a Shattered Mind.

Sometime around the age of eight or so, maybe a little sooner, I met a kid from California, he lived next door to the house of my babysitters house.  Well I did not really get along well with other kids, but this kid was different at least and that was something.  I was what you might call an introvert, and my babysitter Elsie used to have to force me to go outside.  Not because I did not like the outside, two reasons really.  On the other side of the kid from California lived a family, and they had a couple of children that were just a little older than us, and they liked to do mean things to people, especially little kids.  So that was about our connection, comrades against the local bully.  Well they didn’t pick on me too much, because Elsie was a stern woman, though not really to me, and the one time they did, they found out who my brother was, and never did again.  So that left Larry as the sole focus of their frustration, and I figured I could relate to him.  Most of the time I spent my time there listening to the radio, because Elsie let us, and she had three or four children of her own that were near my age, and they listened to the radio too, so we listened to the radio, and I would write.  My sister was there too some of the times, and she got along alright with Elsie’s children, especially a couple of the girls who liked the same boys and rock stars.  Our parents both worked, and for whatever reason, we could not be left at the house alone.

So Larry had a birthday party, and he invited me, as well as a bunch of his other friends, who were children of his mother’s friends, so I did not know them.  We had the obligatory cake and ice cream, and one of the children got sick, so the others went home, after we rushed through the presents.  For whatever reason, someone gave Larry a snow shovel, children sized, and he loved it very much.  We were making piles of snow one day with it and it broke, and he was very upset, and I just could not figure him out, so I let him run to his mother.  She came out and talked to me, saying I owed him a new shovel, and all that, but I could not buy a shovel, and she said she would talk to my mother.  We went over to Elsie’s house, she talked to Elsie, and Elsie made me go back with her, tell Larry I was sorry for breaking his shovel, and that I would get him a new one.  I did these things, and he never said thank you, and we never spoke again until many years later.

This is but a passage, and it may not mean what you think it does, but let it mean what it may, for that is the point, it is broken, and only you know how that will affect you.


Wednesday, August 05, 2015

FB&P: The Trouble of Morality

From bits and pieces of works:

The trouble with morality, is that it is subjective to the place and time of its origin.  Morality is a code of a society that dictates its reactions to certain situations and conditions that occur and from that, the society makes judgement of how that suits its moral codes.  Were these codes not malleable, it would be justified, but they are not set in order, but from whim and whimsy of the “fathers” (generally patriarchal societies are concerned) that determine what is moral, what is divine, and other such measures of value given to the members of the current or even future societies that adopt the same code of morality.

Works in progress, or bits of insight.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

First Fly Over of the Abyss

Every thousand years or so, give or take a millennium or two, the civil leaves the civilization and what remains is the pitiless and pathetic.  From these dregs of the unfortunate few there arises new ideas of what comprises the reality that we see and what is really worth remembering.  It is but a time of stone and tears, a slow parade of fire and fears, and from the ashes rises anew, the next coronation of the king or queen, who charges us with zeal and idolatry.  I do not believe we have seen this yet, it is closer at hand than we would like it to be, but we are not nearly advanced enough to be on the brink of utter destruction quite yet.

I've read the signs and they point to the coast, from which may come a terrible host, full of cheer and good tidings, and yet he appears not to be quite ready to reveal.  It is not certain that it will not be the sister we all dread, the ill fated whore from whom we were all bred, or it might be sullen boy who is to be trumpeted as the next savior, but either way, it is not here yet, at least not in this generation.

All state religions boast of knowing who will post the next destroyer, and when they will happen to the constituents of their chosen favor.  They know nothing new, for bronze age ghost hold no truths, and they were long past due their expiration date.  The times they may be changing, but less the chance that ancient tales are applicable, when houses are built on dust, their foundations will falter and crush the builders beneath them.  Buried yet beneath the sand are timeless jewels of another hand, provided one can see the grain, and not the beach it makes up.

As water dilutes the poisons spilled, and air pollutes our mindless toil, we see not the rot and spoil of the past that still dictates our final stand.  If a sage of a thousand years, were to state that today he would hold no fears, we would greatly exalt his wisdom while ignoring the value of our own time space continuum.  As time holds no dominion here, but a measure of space and fears, and how well we are organized, and if we know the righteous ways, of houses that still hold sway, with terms written before a hand could hold charcoal, or tap with stone in clay or bone, and know the truth is yet to be told, through story both new and old, and the silence like darkness is far to great, to know completely before it is too late, and you are long now past the point of listening, for this stream of consciousness is but a spark in the vast universe of negative space.

This is for those that wonder, are we done, can we stop the pebble before it rolls down the mountain, or are we but pawns in the greater game, and have no control over our fates, and the answer is as simple as this, yes, to all of them.

GILBERT O`SULLIVAN - A PROFILE - ( A ` MUST SEE ` for Gilbert fans ! )

This is a great video, but there is so much left unsaid.  I sure hope more will come from it.  Amazing talent this man, then and now.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Quote the Raven

Off the Cuff

Many things through these windows pass, from darkness into light, the struggle and the strife that is and always has been life.  The competition of things, the creations and destruction, duality of existence continues unabated, endless, like a steam, until no rain falls, and the spring dies.  There remains the desert, the barren nothing, inhabited only by the destitute, are we there yet, not quite, but the mind of man is soon too likely to be barren of any thought that is greater than this.

For all the years spent wondering, and then wandering, and finding no greater value than I found from the first, there is a lesson to be learned, if one is willing, and the mind is forgiving of the errors that it has transgressed in the past.  I mind not this passage of time, it is without issue, it crawls behind me, and I still continue from day to day, ever striving to obtain peace, that elusive peak from which gurus obviously can see the desire of their charges below.

Only this and nothing more.

One Page of Wisdom: Entropy Always Wins

I often sit here wondering, in the infamous words from the Unicorn “what have you done, what have you done, no matter, what is done is done, and all things are as they will be”  Okay those are not the words exactly, that is  really some of the words from several passages, but like Alice in Wonderland, the Unicorn is a animated movie that carries with it far more weight than it is given.

This is a great quandary, is it not, what have you done, and what is the impact of that on your life?  Is there anything that outside the inside mind that could have influenced your life, made it different?  I do not know the answer, but I seem to continue to ask the question.

I think perhaps too much about God, and wonder is it a necessary evil to have such a thing, or even acknowledge such an intelligence outside the mind.  Is there an intelligence outside the mind, and does it have influence on this or any other world.  I know the God of which the religions speak of is not the God of the mind.  How many gods are there, and who, what, where, and why are they/it?

Again I have few answers, but I have studied the major religions, and I can say that what they report as god is not god or even intellect, but control of the ignorant masses through fear and loathing of anything good and plentiful, except for the chosen ones.  They are part of the problem, so they must be worshiping the wrong god.  In fact I know they are, they are involved in the affairs of man, and no god does that.

Does evolution work, sure but there are some breaks in the theory.  There is no explanation that works perfectly, so that works perfectly with the nature of things, and all things being related, that makes almost perfect sense, almost.

From the microscopic to macroscopic, repeating patterns of design, yet things do not always work out the way it should, even mathematics has odd numbers and equations that just do not add up.

I have read the works of the bible, the bhagavad gita, the books of man, the works of their gods, and many other subjects, either of demons or of men who were demonized, and throughout there is one thing that rings true, they are all works of man.  Not one of them is divine, though they all could be I suppose, as not everything I have written came from my mind as I know it, but from some place I have been, but do not remember how to get there again.

Sometimes I sit quietly thinking about my animals, not their needs, but their existence, and what they do without thought or contemplation, and wonder how it is that we need some external force to explain the same things in our actions.  As much as I can through the means of which I am afforded, I have studied the cultures of so many, and found one common thread, man has a need or desire to lord over his fellow man.  There is no need for a God, whatever need once existed, has long since been eradicated by our need to rule one another.  Our desire for this has led to the division of men, as perhaps a pecking order in chickens, of those that are at the top, and those that are at the bottom.  If you remove either, a new top and/or bottom will appear, until no chicken is left, and you have nothing, entropy.

Friday, July 03, 2015

Music is the Sound of the Universe

Fill your ears with music, it matters not what it is, as long as it is true to you.  There is no greater grace there by that I go, as to know the beauty of music so profound.  As the true talent seems to be fading away, perhaps the future holds even greater promise.

While the mind is filled with music it can not receive errors, it must listen to the music that fill the ears.  I need little, but music is one thing I can not live without.  Perhaps they can take all the music away, but my memories will suffice, if they must.  All the world becomes more beautiful when filled with the sound of music.

Please let me go gentle into the the goodnight, as my time will come, all too soon I am certain, but I will go easy to this sleep if but to hear the universe for the tune that must hum within the stars.

While there is better music than some, and I have my issues with modern music, mostly the lack of talent that seems to be, I still realize that if nothing else it is at least music in some respect.

Let the music take away the hurt and the pain, wash away the hard toil of the day.  Sometimes I listen and it takes the silences between songs to make me realize that there is something out there, larger than me.  It is silenced, the moments when the music is not, and the only sound is the beating of your own heart.

Please let the movements take away this silence, and bring the light of a new day to my eyes, in the beautiful light of sunshine.  Another day, and now I am on to that what another day may bring.  Do you hear the sound of the fury that comes from the absence of simple beauty.  Look around you what do you see, is it more than you can describe, that is the truth of simple beauty, stripped of the illusion of reality.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

The Jean Genie

So the next question in this quest is to see if there are any old textile mills that could be put back into operation.  The criteria here is that they must be able to produce cotton denim fabric of at least 18 oz, but more would be better.  They should also be able to produce jersey knit fabric, and a lightweight denim or standard shirting weight fabric.  It may be that two mills will have to be located.  They should also be near the primary source of material if possible, so for cotton that would be south of the Mason Dixon line.

I am also looking at a woolen mill, but that is something completely different, although related.

Once the fabric is sourced, made and ready for production, it will be necessary to find a factory that can produce the products.  There has to be some old clothing factories that would have most of the tooling for the purposes of making jeans, t-shirts, and button down shirts, or maybe two or three would have to be put to use.   Machines can be brought back to life, and new dies made if necessary, so that it can produce a quality pair of jeans, decent t-shirts, and decent denim and cotton button down shirts.  They all have to be located in the USA, and preferably not far from where the fabric is produced.

Again woolen factories will be used to produce wool goods in the same manor.

The design work will be a process of development from current patterns, and working from those with the materials to create the perfect pairs of jeans.  Once that is done, other sources will be found for the metal pieces, and lastly new patterns and dies will be made to produce the jeans, t-shirts, and button shirts.  Everything will be sourced from the USA and made in the USA and sold through an online web site, as well as possible retail channels.

One thing that will not happen is the cost can not exceed the original estimate, so deals will have to be made, and profits forfeited if necessary to ensure that the cost remain constant, and the workers remain paid a decent wage for their work.

Let us say I did this, and I could make $.01 per pair, or that is what I want to make per pair sold.  Okay, if we sell 1000 pairs of jeans per month that is $10.00 in clear profit per month.  If we sell 100,000 pairs, well you see where this is going.  It is all about selling good quality jeans at a reasonable price, and making sure that the workers get enough that they can afford to buy the products they make.

This model can be used for most products, and once it is done once, it can be repeated, it only requires someone to start it.  I think crowd funding may be the answer to at least getting this plan underway.  I will look into that, and see what can be done, while I continue to work on the plan, along with all the other things I am doing, so do not expect that it will be done anytime soon, but eventually.


From the If It Is Good Enough For Me Category 6262015

This one is straight from the if it is good enough for me category.

I have been looking for a pair of "jeans" lately.  What I want is a pair of Levi® 501™ button fly jeans unwashed, with a boot cut, like I used to get.  Not going to happen, they do not make them anymore.

So now I am stuck with either accepting what they make, or getting something else.  Well I also have another option, that is buying some jeans at the thrift stores, but that is only a temporary solution at best.  Second best option is buying the jeans made for Tractor Supply Company®, but they are again just a stop gap, not the real choice.  The true choice is to make my own.

I have some criteria I am very serious about.  One they have to be of good weight material, at least 16 oz denim, but 18 to 22 oz would be better.  They have to be unwashed.  Why unwashed, well because I want them to wear longer, so I do not want them to be pre-washed improperly.  The pockets  have to be riveted.  They need to be 100% cotton.  They have to be made in USA with materials sourced in the USA, including the dye.  I want them only in one color, indigo, the trouble is that true indigo is only available from india, so I may have to let that one go to get the material I want.

I also want to state here that this is not about the "Raw Denim" movement.  I can see that argument, but it is not what I am talking about.  What I want is a pair of jeans that will wear rough, and be good for day to day work.  They should be cut to fit,, over the boot, and be easy to wear without being baggy in the saddle.  I did not and still do not like "carpenter" jeans for that very reason, they were always so baggy.  I do not want a second skin also, I want them to fit me the way they should and still be worn all day, everyday, and not bind or cut.  Granted for best results it is best to only wash them carefully, in cold water, with sale and vinegar, maybe some lye soap if there is a difficult stain, or just not worry about it, and they should preform well even if wash normally and worn normally for work.  That is the point they should wear and wash and be tough all through that process.  Yes they should last for a few years, depending on your work load demands.

They should also be reasonable.  A working stiff can only afford so much for clothing, so their clothes should not only perform well, but they should also be reasonable to purchase in the first place, and be reasonable to replace when they wear out as well.

I think a reasonable cost today for a pair of jeans is $14.00 per pair.  Now that may be difficult to achieve using traditional methods of manufacturing and employment, but it should not be impossible either.  For one thing, the profit margin on a pair of jeans across the channels should not be more than 2-5%.  If you are making 20% or even 12% on a pair of jeans, you are adding too much to the cost of the production.

If you are operating a machine that makes jeans, an industrial sewing machine, or even the loom that weaves the cloth, or the punch machine that makes the rivets, you should not expect to make much more than a living wage.  Sure you should be able to afford to purchase jeans for your family, but if you earn too much, you will also cost too much, and then the cost will be too high for you to purchase the jeans you make.

I do not know the logistics of it, yet, but along the way I will figure it out, and I am pretty certain that as long as greed does not become a factor, they can be made for less than $15.00 a pair, most likely less than $7.00 a pair.  Now if the store that sells them can not be happy with $1.00 per pair, and the people that make them can not be happy with $1.00 per pair, and so on and so forth, then there is a problem with that, not with the reality of the making of jeans.

We all know by now that I can not get through an entire thought, and that really this subject would take far too much to do in one post.  I have done a lot of research, and am still doing some, but suffice to say that it is not only possible to make and sell a quality pair of jeans under $15.00, but it is profitable too.  I am not saying it would be cheap, it would be expensive to start, and it might take a few years to pay those profits out, but it would put a lot of people to work, it would provide a good quality product that ordinary people could afford, even the people working for the company, and it would put on the market a good quality pair of jeans that would be good enough for me.


Friday, June 12, 2015

Random Jaunt Through Tired Eyes

I am so frigging tired, I can barely hold my head up to write this.  I have been writing other things mostly in the mornings, before starting to work.  Now with the approach of summer weather, it may be better that I should work in the morning, and then write in the afternoon.  The trouble is that I have lately not got much sleep, and with this and the stresses we have been through recently, it has been hard to sleep well.  Last night I slept well, but got up too late, so much of the day was gone before I could even get started.

Still I have had some time to think about things, because often I have to sit and watch the sheep while they graze outside the fence.  So much idle time provides me with insight sometimes on things I observe, and while I have written about them on paper, I have not as yet committed them to the blogs.  This is something I should do soon, but for now, I am really just writing this to try and keep myself awake.  Now why would I do this, and publish it to the blog, well that is simple, because it is a process, by which that if I keep writing this nonsense, eventually I will have produced something interesting, or that is the theory anyway.  That is if my fingers do not give out before that happens, as using this laptop keyboard tends to make my hands numb, and therefore my fingers stop functioning properly, and I make more mistakes than I can stand, and have to stop.  Which is also another reason for my writing on paper with pen rather than on the computer.  I am going to have to find one of my USB keyboards, so I can write longer,  I will not go on about that any longer, and soon I hope to have a Logitech Wave wireless keyboard, as this laptop has very few USB ports, and with the mouse in one, that leaves only one other port for all my other input devices.

Enough whining now, on to something else, what else, well I really do not know.  I am almost out of coffee, and I do not have much water even though it has been raining now for days it seems.  It did not rain yesterday, but we had to walk to town to buy some things, like some parts for the pump so we could get a reliable supply of water.  Right now I am waiting on the making of rosin flux made from pine tar and alcohol.  I tried to use lard at first, and while this will work with the low temperature lead solder, it does not work with the higher temperature silver based solder.  Once that is done I can make the two solder joints, and then begin to prepare the pump for installation into the well house, or at least the place where the well house will eventually will be.  Then we should have a good supply of fresh water from the well, which we can use for everyday use.  I still want to get a filter built, but for now I think it will do, as long as it does not seem too toxic.  I guess I should get it tested at some point, just to know what is in the water, but for now, if I feel it is a biological issue, I can always boil it, as long as it looks clean, boiling it will kill 90% of all the other pathogens.

Well that is it for now, the rain has stopped for a bit, and I have laundry to do, steak to cook, and water to boil for dishes.

Thank you for stopping by, and won't you please come back again.


Monday, June 01, 2015

Blog Post Update to TOS

I will no longer be posting all my blogs to the various services, instead, either you find it or you do not.  I am going to post to my blogs as I choose, when I choose, and with no set pattern.  If you are really interested in what I have to post, subscribe, if not so be it, thank you all for stopping by.


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Process and Progression

I spent some time talking with Mosey, a local member of a local Amish community around where we live now.  He is a very fascinating person, and I find that talking with him I recapture some of that old feeling of being the observer.  I like that, and it reminds me that I can still be outside the self, apart from the people.

People used to fascinate me.  They used to be something I would find interest in, but only from a distance.  When I let them get close it destroys the effect, and I have to feel, and that makes it difficult to remain objective.  Objectivity is of utmost importance to me, it allows me to see better, and not be involved with the vision.  I think that may be a psychopathic tendency that is latent in everyone, it only is recognized in some, and in others it can be hyper active, but they do not do well in this world generally, or really well, if they are in the right social cycles.

I am careful to understand myself as much as anyone else, so as to ensure that I will not fall into the wrong trap, and this is part of that process.

No I do Not Know Where This Leads Down

Careful thoughts have gone into this, that I know not of, wonder where it leads, from end to end and if this fantasy that appears like reality is really what it seems.

I have listened to the heads of one side and the heads of the other, with very little conclusive results.  There is no God, but that does not negate the existence of gods, such as they are.  Through all of this the use of darkness as a metaphor is often overused, and I do not believe that it signifies much beyond the absence of light, the visible light.  What used to be easy to see, has been clouded by perception and perhaps even by age and cynicism.  Maybe I have chosen to cease to believe in something that at one time appeared to be more real, but not seems like there is no evidence of it at all.  Yet there is still that niggling of a feeling that I am certain that there is something I have forgotten, that only awaits my awaking from the slumber I have chosen to live within.

It became rather difficult to continue then to continue, as so much was focussed on the mundane and sublime, and I had a life I needed to live, that resembled that which was a model for the reality that was then regarded as the fantasy.  It has taken many years now for me to re-focus my mind, but it becomes such slowly, as I view the end of my current existence, and wonder have I wasted too much of it trying to appear as I am not, just so I would not appear as I am.

So much has consumed me, taken away my thoughts, and left me with little to believe, so that now all that exist is the question of existence at all.  In what world do we exist at all, is it all just an image in our head now, forever a motion picture show.  If it is why is it that I did not see it as such before?

In both the realms of possible and improbable there exist the most likely, and that is where the picture is very out of focus anymore.

I question the motive of this god of which you speak of, as it is not the god I would follow, and yet there is no path I would follow intentionally.  As the dawn turns to evening on this run, I realize that our paths are as marked as we choose to believe them to be.

Did my attempt to see so much turn to a blindness to that which before me stood.  Did I become so jaded that I no longer could see the possible as possible, and the likely as anything other than that which is most likely to be or others, but not for me.

My mind wonders but I can not think.  There is something here that is thicker than the ink, it troubles me that I am under such a spell.  Silence seems the rue the day, and I know it well.

Held as lewd and too storied to hear the peel of voices in my head and resounds around the echoes of memories that somehow believed to be not what they once were.  I know not the truth as it was, but as it seems today to be.  It is grossly overestimated, and it means very little to me.  I feel the slight of something that lingers yet in the shadow of the morning yet to come.  If only I knew his name, I would give it and dispel the this fog of war that lingers still.

Now as truth comes, it is sullen and not of perfected form.  The ash and birch wilt while the evergreen slowly trembles in pain.  I've seen this device and it will be used onced again, with results nearly the same.  Consumed in fire once, the last of the watchers fade into pages of tombs that no longer can be read.

Lingering between sleep and awake, trying to hear the voices that once fought for my mental state.  I do not care what people think, they hold no meaning to me now.  I can not feel them in this place, they are away and somehow more distant than before.

Can we no longer see the truth that before us lay?  Is it far too distant in the past the power we once knew but have since laid to rest for personal gain?  Is the pursuit of our own doing our undoing and given this are we already too late?  What remains of the energy we once grasped glimpses of, before the fall of all that was worthwhile went away?  Have they abandoned us, or us them?

I have no answers or even questions that remain.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Not at Peace with Tech

Warning ridiculous rant coming in this post!

I am done with this bullshit software.  I am not logging in to another site, if I have logged in once, that should do it, if your algorithm can not handle security better than that, then do not penalize me.  If I use a different device, my laptop or my tablet and I have used them before do not ask me to log in, I am done with that.  If you ask me to log in, I am done with the service, I do not need your shit.

The other thing is that if I am doing something, I do not care what else you are processing, as the user, I am the only thing that matters, therefore focus should remain with what I am requesting.  If I move my cursor, follow it, wait for me to do something, do not change my focus, do not insert windows, do not send alerts, unless I am not doing something.  I have four fucking cores on this thing, you would think at this point in computing they could at least devote one core to user input and paying attention to user actions.  Do not tell me about intelligent software, give me completely idiotic software then, one that waits for my input and does not try to help me, since it is absolutely not helping me.

Well I have said enough, I still have more anger, but I will take that out on the Facebook techs in a few minutes when I write them a not so nice letter to their techs.

Oh and do not get me started on security, that is a whole other subject.  One thing, machine code, it is hardwired into the device, it can not change, not rocket science, stop being stupid.

Not at Peace

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Spirit Mind as 1

As time goes on I realize that it has been a lot of mind, and very little spirit that has gotten us where we are.  However the advances have mostly been those of the spirit, and it is when we use mind that we maintain, and often lose, albeit at less rate than if we lose spirit.

I think a lot about God, gods, and all the trappings of various religions, and they all have their trappings, but even with the most sublime of them, they fall short of the mark.  They try to order chaos, which is about like trying to make water go uphill.  Yes it is possible to make water go uphill, but is it really worth it.  With the exception of a well, which is of course an uphill climb for water, is it really worth the effort to go against the flow of water?

I have not allowed the spirit to move me of late, it has all been in the head.  While to be truthful it is all in your mind, the heart has no function but to pump blood (water), there is something to the literary sense of heart, that is moves you, like a song.  It is nearly impossible to write this with so much bs happening around me, so I will leave it at that, and try to get back to this subject another day.

For now...


Saturday, March 21, 2015

I Was So Much Older Then

What the fuck is wrong with today, all I want to listen to is music from my youth.  You know it is a bad day when you start out with "Bartender Blues" by the Possum (GJ), and move right on to Willie Nelson's "You Were Always on my Mind" in remembrance of a sheep.

Then I sit here and listen to James Taylor, Crosby, Stills and Nash, right on into Cat Stevens, and I am doing the dishes.  Reading some of the comments I wonder, what the hell is wrong with people, I have had my fill of people, just do not want to interact with them anymore.  Sometimes it seems like everyone is okay on the web, and then I think, well shit they are out there, in their little fox holes, waiting for the next troll to land a near miss.

Watching the "Voice" the other day, I realize that most of the people I know as great artist would not make it in today's music scene.  How sad would it have been if we had never had Jim Croce, or Jimi Hendrix?  Certainly would not have the troubadour, Bob Dylan, or the siren song of Joni Mitchell.  The era of the singer/songwriter is gone, maybe forever, or maybe they just are no longer given the time of day, and since all I have to provide me a window on the world, as sad as it is, is the web, and they just don't show up on my searches, because I did not put in the right key words.

Well I am just pissing vinegar and I have dishes to do, sap to cook, fire to tend to, and the rest of my dull existence that I love so much.

Piss off;

Friday, March 20, 2015

Cookies and Cream Cake, one of those bad ideas

There are some things that I have purchased that I do not have buyers remorse from, but I can tell you that if I did not buy it on sale or at a discount, I would not have and will not most likely ever buy it again.

The other day I purchased a Cookies and Cream cake from Price Chopper in Gouverneur, NY, in the "day-old-bakery" rack for 50% off the retail price.  Now I have done this in the past with some items, mostly breads, and they have been great, sometimes a little less than "uber" fresh, but if you are looking for a nice loaf of crusty bread for dinner and you do not want to wait till tomorrow, this is the best place to find it.  This is quite expected, and exactly what I expect from that rack of baked goods, so I am not generally surprised, although I have been, but for other reasons.

So this last week, well really two days ago, I purchased this abomination, and it was something I will not do in the future.  Sure I will still purchase the breads, but I will not experiment again with some type of unknown cake or something.  This cake was a combination of their coffee cake cake, with a sugar glaze, and Oreo® cookies, mixed with the glaze and in the cake mix.  It was really basically horrible, and I did eat some, just to be certain that it wasn't me or my particular taste of the moment, but it was just horrible.

Now I do not want to say that for some people, this would not be an awesome cake, and well worth the cost even at full price, although I doubt that, but still it may be someone's favorite cake.  It is just that I do not like it, at all.  Judging by the presence of several of them in the reduced bakery rack may also be an indication that they are not quite as awesome as Price Chopper might think they were going to be.

I still think that the reduced (day-old) bakery rack is a good place to get some of the best deals in bakery items, especially since at their full price some of them are just ridiculously priced.  There are some really good deals on really good items, but I can tell you that I will not likely experiment with new stuff anytime soon, and I would never purchase that particular cake at full price that is absolutely certain.

So, yea I do not want to this to reflect badly on Price Chopper, they are what they are, or on the bakers, or on baked goods, or even this abomination they created with all the best intentions I am sure, but that for me, it was about as difficult to get the second piece down as the first, which is a clear indication that it is not for me, and although I am out $4.00 for the cake, throwing it out was worth the loss of cash.

Maybe if I had some kids around to eat it, it would have been fine.  By the way they used their coffee cake base, which is actually pretty damn good, when paired with the cinnamon and brown sugar crumb topping, but absolutely horrible when paired with that cookie and sugar glaze.

Okay, enough of that, and I will now return you to your normally scheduled program of whatever it is that you do that is more entertaining than reading my benane writings.