Friday, April 25, 2014

Answers I Have Not, Questions a Many

At the end of the day, homelessness means nothing to me.  Of what use do I need a home, I have no family, I have no friends, and only my words keep me company.  I can always climb back into the bottle and practice the great art of slow deliberate suicide by bottle.

It is the love of my life, my beautiful and caring wife Arleta who I strive for.  If not for her I would not most likely be here today to write this, and there are plenty of people who would most likely prefer it was that way.

I read the comments, go to social services, or other such services, you don’t think we didn’t consider that.  Even though it pains me to do so, we have, but they have no help for us, especially for us to move away from the services.  The pure ignorance that I run into all the time just makes me ill.  You all say you can’t help others, but you will gladly go to your local church and put $10.00 every week into their coffers.  For what a chance at salvation, really, do you honestly believe that.  They are selling you a bill of goods that does not exist.  The only angels in this world are those people who while they have nothing, find it in their selves to still help their fellow man, personally, not through some middleman or organization.

Let me explain chuch to you.  It is an organization that exist to ensure that those that participate in the belief will continue to support those that do not believe in it.  The irony here is that they call you their flock.  Do you know what I do with my flock, I fleece it, at least until it gets too old, then I kill it and eat it, is that real enough for you.  Oh, but what about god, he must certainly be there, he has books written about him, and so many people believe in him, it must be true.  Really because I think on any given day you can find people who still believe that Elvis is still alive, or Jim Morrison for that matter, so are they gods?

I can not determine what is worse the fucktards that fleece their flock every week, or the ignorant masses that believe that by paying a small tithe every week they will buy their way into some utopian land in a galaxy far, far away.  Best of all, you all missed the point entirely, even though it was presented to you plainly.  Instead you chose to believe the interpreter who told you only he can interpret the word of the god.  Jesus did not ask for money, he told you to forego the trappings of material world.  He gave everything to his flock, and asked nothing in return.  Buddha forsake his material life for one of poverty.  He was a prince, who left his wealth and excess to become as a peasant.  The list goes on, but no one wants to hear what they have to say, they want to hear that as long as you keep on giving 10% of your income to this organization you will be given a place in the kingdom of heaven.  Ah, but you have no ears to hear the truth, only that which you are fed by the truth-sayers.

Jesus never once said believe in me, or even his “father”.  He said that his father was in the world in which we lived, and that you only had to look to see his wonder.  Buddha never once asked to believe in him, he only said that the human condition is suffering, and to quiet the suffering, relinquish desire.  If you actually thought about the people that are attributed with greatness, they gave you the key, but instead you would rather be blinded to the truth, and pay for it, so the priest do not have to.

Do not get me wrong, religion is great for wealth generation, and power manipulation.  In the middle ages after the fall of Rome, the Catholics seized the power that became available after in the vacuum that follows any change in power.  They did so at the expense of thousands, maybe even millions of other people.  Somehow Catholics can justify the killing of millions of people by their religious leaders because they believe in the same goddam god, but look a little different.

Why did the church go after the holy land, because the people are gullible and thrill at the chance to kill other people so they can take their wealth back to a guy that sits on a throne of gold, and says he will guarantee your passage into a mystical land where you will be happy all the time and have everything you ever wished for, but it is going to cost you.  Not just gold, but land, blood and your first born male child.  Who is buying this crap?  Millions, sometimes billions of people, all willing to pay for the privilege to be lied to repeatedly.

For a little more modern example, take the church of latter day saints, the mormons.  Really if you do not already know the story behind that organization, it was started by a con man that had been run out of three other towns before he landed in Palmyra, NY and hatched what would be the biggest con yet, a new religion based on some “golden” tablets he found, which could only be interpreted by his priest.  Yet it is one of the most successful organizations, and has billions in net worth.  How can you believe that.  There sure are a lot of very wealthy mormons out there, and they probably know the truth about what they are doing, but why illuminate the masses, they prefer their ignorance and dictate.

Okay, I have beat up on religion and god enough for a moment, and maybe I should pick something else.  Besides if you do not get it by now, you never will.  Here is one last hint, if you believe in a god, you are following the wrong god.

Let us try something else.  We all know now that nobility does not consider the best interest of their peasants.  Or at least that is what you all have been lead to believe.  However; at least nobility has some interest in their peasants, as without them, they would have to toil in the fields.  So there is some balance there, but I agree it is not much.

I have always said that what the people really want is a benevolent monarch.  By this I mean what they want is a person that will give them a decision on something, and take responsibility for it, whatever the outcome.  They also want that person to consider their needs, and at least make it possible for them to live their lives in peace.  This might have occurred during the reign of King Solomon, if he even existed, as there is no hard fact to that.  I would like to think that he might have existed, but that maybe, just maybe over the years some of what he is known for might have been exaggerated for the sake of dramatic intent, and also because it just makes for better fiction.

Any group of people, however noble their cause, can be manipulated and converted, especially if they are at all successful.  In fact the more successful they are the more of a threat they are to the established groups, and therefore they must be eliminated or at least marginalized in order to effectively render them harmless to the power that currently holds sway.  In the modern world it is best to have many smaller groups that appear to operate independent of each other, sometimes even at odds with each other, to best obtain the greatest market penetration and therefore maintain the greater level of control over any other competing group that may present a threat to the ones already within the folds of the established groups.

That was a lot to say in one statement, but that is what we as people seem to do, to ourselves.

We desire leadership.  We want someone or a group of someones to lead us in some direction, it really does not matter which direction, as long as we do not have to be held accountable for our own existence.  We put the fat old men in power and then complain that they use it for their own benefit.  We cry for their forgiveness and complain that they charge us for the benefit of their abuse of that power.  We lock ourselves in the prison of ignorance and give the keys to the sadistic wardens that we were trying to escape.

I do not know how to state it.  I do not know how to use words to illuminate you, for words are false, and have no meaning but what is attributed to them through interpretation.  I can give you no answers, for I have none.  I can tell you that to find all the answers to all questions you ask, you only need but look inside yourself and ask, am I.  If there is no answer, you are, and you can go forward now, with uncertainty, and live in perfect harmony with the great chaos, knowing nothing, but owing nothing to anyone to the ignorance you have now embraced.

Ignorance is bliss, but bliss will cost you, unless you are okay with knowledge of nothing, and if you know nothing, then nothing is unknown.

Right now I have to go tend to my flock, of sheep.  They ask nothing of me, and give to me freely, without desire or condition.  The reason for this is too great to get into right now, but I will return with more on this, because I want to believe in the human capacity to be awesome and evolve, despite the facts that appear to be to the contrary.


Thursday, April 24, 2014

Friends Still Unresolved

From: Letters to No One in Particular

These friends that you speak of, yes I know them quite well… they are an illusion to me now.

I still think of “friends” that were friends once upon a time, far far away.  I see their lives play out on the screen from the safety of my monitor, alive, but barely living.  Why haven’t we kept in touch, what has changed all that much, I can not say, but it was a long, long ways away.

Ah, but I have reached out, here and there, the occasional call, a casual hello, maybe even a conversation sometimes, that will lead to an agreement to meet sometime, but it will never be arranged.  We are all too busy with our lives.  We have all changed, and grew away from that time, we remember, if we choose to, but most of us choose not to, it wasn't all that pretty even back then.

The last time we met, I was too strung out to forget, or I was too sober to compete with anyone’s bet.  There were a couple of times I do not regret, and sometimes wonder if there is any hope yet, but it is too far away from here, to complete the set.  I wonder though, does anyone even think about that.

There are new friends, ones I haven’t yet met.  They are strangers to me, except the digital bits I see from the computer screen.  I can not tell if they are real, they could be bots on the net, designed to fill this empty electronic world.  I get the same feeling walking through a mall.  I know they are people, but they seem hollow somehow.  Like empty shells performing functions for the sake of the performance.  I do not want to believe that they are empty, but we are not real to each other, and we do not matter, like long lost friends we have not met yet.

Time moves on, and I am out of time for so many things.  There is very little I can do now, time has gotten the best of me.  When I needed friends I realized I had lost more than I gained these years past.  The ones that still are real and the ones that I can not feel anymore.  On a quiet grey morning, at the keyboard, I think of old friends, new friends, and digital facsimiles, and I wonder, could I have been a better friend to them all, or am I just fooling myself.

Thank you,


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