Friday, August 24, 2012

Experimental Writing 1

Experimental Writing 1

I am starting a new series I am calling experimental writing.  The number at the end indicates the edition.  Since this is the introduction, it contains this bit at the beginning, but future editions will not, they will just be the writing.  What I am attempting to do here is produce some experimental works that I think might work out later into something more polished.  They also might be just character development, or plot development, it is all experimental.

On With the Show
I have been having trouble with this lately, it seems I have more self imposed obstacles than I should have, and they are all very difficult to break.  Sometimes it is time, that seems to be in the way, sometimes its space.  The closer I get to the beginning the more it seems I cannot find the time or the space to complete what I want to start.  It does leave one wondering why does this not seem to work, the way it used to.

There was a time when I was much younger, it was relatively easy, sit down, think about something, and off and running.  The details seemed to flow and produce a well form project, no matter what I did.  Soon though the obstacles began.  It wasn’t long and I kept building them in until I was no longer able to function short of a shot of something.  At first it was easy, a shot of something and I was right back into the swing.  Soon though that did not do it, so it became more and more, and before I knew it I was deep in the darkness of addiction.  

Nicotine stains on my fingers, coffee stains on my desk, empty bottles on the floor, all the signs that I should have seen, but I overlooked because I was without boundaries.  Or so it seemed anyway.  There were things, I could not drive very well, I could not hold a job, I had no life outside my work room, and in there, there was no light.  The downward spiral was nearly complete, and even then I knew it, but I just didn’t want to admit to it.

I began this life with a spark, and through years of self indulgence and self destruction I had tried to extinguish that fire as it grew, until all that surrounded me was darkness.  Sometimes you can be in room full of people, and still be lonely.  It was on a particular day, that what remained of my humanity slipped away from me.

Like any other day, like them all, it started with a cigarette and coffee.  It went on from there into the silence of forgetfulness.  Washing away the memories of the recent past, with alcohol and cannabis.  Even now it is hard to remember, although it comes and goes in flashes.

Well that’s all for today.  Life intervened, and so I must go out and tend to the animals, and work on other things.  I may post another one later, but for now that is all I have, and it seems to be going nowhere, so it may remain just memories.  Mostly I just wanted to get this ball rolling and see what came of it.

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