Thursday, November 19, 2009

Are You Listening

What the fuck is this that I have discovered, some bland slate of blue marble, given to me with words written upon, with scarlet ink that bleeds and blurs the letters into scarcity. I am still a blind paint, written in cast member, sitting in the audience, sleeping in the alley way, with the piss boy and the double dealer.

I slit through this chocolate dream scape, into the fog of the smoke filled perfection.

The drag queen opened her mouth to come, and his best friend slips into another form of oblivion, without a sound, will you just look at that.

And I thought Andy was all this time living in the haze of my shadow, long ago forgotten, oh yea I don't remember that muther fucker, he was just a whiff of my dragon pipe, slit to the thigh.

"Are you fucking listening" he said "you fucking slut bitch, why haven't you got the hell out of here and left me to my best boy friend"

"That is not what you want, is it" she whispers into the nothingness before her.

"Are you fucking kidding me, have you been paying any attention at all" the mirror answers back.

Just put it on hold and come back, it will still be there when you turn your head upside down, take the pill and call it quits.

"Just keep your hands on the wheel, and steady as she goes" he said.

"As steady as I can keep my trembling hands" she replies.

He slaps the white fur of the rabbit with red stick leaving a dark blue mark across her back. If only this, but it is the thoughts he has that burn into her memory, and quicken the pain of her bare ass.

"Where are you going to now" he asked?

"To the cupboard to get the kettle for some tea and crumpets" she quips.

"Could you bring me a cigarette from the refrigerator while you are out there?" he asked.

"There's no light in this closet, how can I breath in this dirt" she ask

"It is a cool night, pull up a chair and sit a while, would you like another beer" he gets up to walk away.

"No don't go, just don't, please go away." she whimpers through the scarlet spittle.

And the cries are sheltered in my mind, not to be seen here, oh no you shall not feel that pain until I release the chain. You might feel it coming in the green of the morning when you are trying to wash away the night that came before. The stain of your desire on on his best business shirt, what will come of that. Can you get the blood out of your hair this time with herbal shame and purposeful tea. But that is what it is, just a minor mark of wish, that will not bear fruit. It will not bear because it has been ripped out, with a cruel instrument of torture, that you begged him to use, even though you knew the consequences. You were there, and so was I.

I could see you quietly weeping after the glow had left his eyes and he was sleeping. I could hear your whining through the fog of tears. I could see you, although you knew that, you let him continue, knowing it would hurt me to see you this way. You know now to much carnal knowledge, has it taught you anything? Huh girl, did I hear you speak, or was that just the wind whispering your name, or a lowly crow echoing your very name, are you listening, are you fucking listening.

"An uneven tone to your voice belies your reality. You could never hide anything from me could you" I said, as she rocked in the corner of the ether.

"Well you know now that you cannot keep me here, I am spoiled" her smile was not quite complete, a small bit of her mouth still turned down in sadness.

"It doesn't matter any ways, you were always free to go, you are the only one that held the key to your cell" he said as she slipped a little further away.

"Are you still holding onto that old chain, the tatters of your fingers tells me you won't let go of her until she rots from the collar" she laughs into the gathering darkness.

"Have it your way then" he says and walks into the darkness of his own shadow.

"No, you can't do that, you can't have it that way, bastard, take your own voice, get it out of my head, you fucking asshole, get back here and take that stake from my brain, my heart, my soul, you, take it from me, you, come back" she choked back a few last sobs until the last of the darkness consumed her eyes, and she could no longer breath.

"You know the form is exquisite don't you think." the patron said to the fat man next to her.

"Oh I really must agree, they seem quite alive don't they" the fat man says to the grotesque patron next to him.

"I like the first act the most, it was quite exciting" the patron puts her bloated hand on the bloated mans bloated forearm.

"Oh yes, indeed, I do believe he has outdone himself this time, with this work he will certainly be the talk of the whole circuit." the pudgy man said.

"Oh, yes quite" the patron said.

And he hands me the staff, and what does it say.
I give you one guess, it is a name, care to guess who?
Ah, come on now, can you guess, sure you can.
What ever, you are no fun, go on your own way.

His scaly hand is beautiful to those that understand
It may be cold to the touch, but it is full of flames
Dare you to take it, hold it to your breast, feel it burn
Feel the rise in your loins, as he dances on your grave

It is you, he desires don't you know
Yes, only you that he burns for
Are you listening, are you fucking listening
I am trying to help you lose yourself

Take my hand little girl
It is okay I will only hurt you a little
And then when he comes in you
You will know real pain

Are you still there
Are you still, there
Are you, still, there, there, now
Lie still, he comes for you now

Just a little journey through this torrent that is what I think in a blink of an eye.
Sleep well,
JD

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